The woman who will eat: what men think about our appetite
MLobanov’s aria about girlish fears and the eternal problem: to eat or not to eat on a date.
Life is full of insoluble paradoxes. A man calls you for dinner – say, at Dr. Zhivago. Well, you purr like that in response – of course, dear, at eight, you fiddle with the handle of your bag on a nerve, and in your head you immediately played it: a black dress, a small heel, a cape on your shoulders – a la Melania Trump in Dolce at the Pope’s, only the skirt is shorter. In a word, you give the guy hope, but you keep your distance. It is felt that he is also determined decisively: he began by ordering champagne, you go almost in one gulp, and in the morning, of course, on the curd. Okay, the waitress is intelligent, albeit with red lips: she brought pies, Olivier’s portion – about three people, so the second glass flew over the knurled one. We needed pancakes, because caviar, a little sturgeon, well, perhaps that’s all, because there, in Zhivago, the most delicious rum-baba in Moscow is – as without it.
By the end of the meal, when the themes of Zvyagintsev, Sobyanin and unfinished gestalts (don’t even ask) have already been disclosed and forgotten from all sides, you suddenly inadvertently notice that the red-lipped waitress is throwing food only on your half of the table. And the gentleman ate a little vegetable salad, and steamed sea perch on a plate – there would be nothing to boast of fish in the next world, how much in vain. And vague doubts begin to torment you: since when have we started eating more men, and do they like it?
“No!” – answered me a friend, whom I called in a panic the next day. It is disgusting when a girl bursts everything, as if not into herself. All these restaurant bills, and then – no sex, because “oh, I ate so much, let’s sleep.”
“Yes,” another answered me. – There is nothing more pathetic than bitchy girls with skinny knees, washing down salad leaves with water without gas. Will it be fun with them in bed? Never!”
Since I never had skinny knees, at this point I should have fallen into the illusion that with such an appetite with me in bed you would surely laugh. But the absence of a bony bottom does not guarantee dementia, so I decided not to relax right away.
Although how men today manage to seduce women, it is still a mystery to me. We have a healthy lifestyle, detox, veganism, “I don’t drink, I don’t smoke” and, in general, “you have to be in bed at 10”. How to strike wedges on a girl who is always on the alert and knows exactly the percentage of protein to carbs in quinoa? Any man from these words will fall into a stupor, and she, without batting an eye, gives out a percentage of the daily norm in 100 grams. I’m not talking about the passion for self-imprinting – I know which side is the winning one, don’t shoot from there. She in bed in any position will try on the correct angle, if it comes to any poses at all, what am I talking about.
How can you imagine a life in which you don’t drink a single gram, and after seven you don’t even eat (if you call it food that passes the healthy lifestyle control)? You will not buy a bottle of Cabernet to drink right from your throat overlooking the Seine, you will not kiss on a bridge in Bruges, dividing a portion of frits for two, you will not stand in Berlin for an hour in line for the best burgers in the city, and you will not drink all cocktails in St. Petersburg. El Copitas, in order to forget about all decorum with a hangover and do in bed what has long been asking for, but which was even awkward to formulate.
Perhaps, somewhere there are girls with firm, as their abs, self-discipline and shameless frankness in bed. But I don’t know those. Pleasure and seduction do not live within boundaries and limitations. If a man is a male, and we do not need another, then he feels it at the level of instincts. And he will strive for the one who will value the pleasure of sharing life with him – in all its bright and harsh colors – higher than narcissism. Although God forbid you to think that I live on pancakes with sturgeon. But the pleasure I got from them was worth half a thousand burpees in the following days. Yes, and that gentleman cut off my entire phone – he says he hasn’t seen a girl who eats with such pleasure for a long time. Well, what, I can repeat it, it’s not difficult for me.